How to Play Euchre. Properly.

Ah yes, Euchre. The pastime most commonly played with four people, two teams of two, seems tailor made for a midwest hang. It’s an easy double-date activity or something socially acceptable to do with your hands during a get-together with friends. Let’s be real, four people are able to hold a single conversion. Six? Now you’re probably splitting off into side conversations. Someone will get the bright idea that it’s OK to talk about golf or cars. It’s not. With four you can keep that guy in check. Four is perfect. It’s obvious the conversation should be neutral and inclusive.

Euchre is not complicated. If you’re inclined, you should be able to have a drink and play. Another reason it’s a midwest favorite. We have long months where outside is cold and joyless. We need something to do. Euchre is also great in the summer when it’s hot and joyless and we need something to do.

Whether you are planning to play Euchre with friends after a 10 year break or interested in playing for the first time, the guide below will ensure you don't show up looking like a total noob.

Euchre, it’s a fast game.

Step 1.) Garbage cards.

No need to use a card holder or waste time sorting in Euchre. The feeble cards in the deck are immediately banished. Put ‘em back in the box or throw them out all together. They are not needed and will not be missed. Keep the 9, 10, Jack, Queen, King, and Ace. Oh, and you’ll need the 5s to keep score.

Step 2.) Take a seat.

The ideal playing surface is a smooth square table with partners sitting across from each other. Certainly, you can sit two to a side of a table, the requirement is partners not be next to each other. Get comfortable! Though the game is short, it is addictive. You’ll be here for a while.

Step 3.) Black Jack (not Blackjack).

The dealer has an advantage. To make it fair (and avoid tears) someone will shuffle and deal cards around face up until a player is dealt a black Jack. This chap will be the first dealer. Congrats!

Step 4.) Cut it out.

The dealer will shuffle and offer a cut to eliminate any possibility of a stacked deck. To do this, the dealer lays the deck face down in front of the opponent to the right. This player can elect to not cut by passing either verbally or by tapping the top of the deck. They may choose to cut, in which case they’ll grab the top section of the deck and place it next to the bottom. The dealer will then take the bottom half and place it on the top half. If you put the top half back on top, then you didn’t really offer a cut and are wasting everyone's time.

Editor's note: I don’t offer cuts because it slows down the game and I know I’m not cheating. Trust me.

Step 5.) Hurry up.

You must deal out five cards to each player, but in only two rounds. We don’t have time for you to place cards down one at a time! Typically people deal cards in clumps of 3s and 2s. Pick a way to do it and do the same way every time to avoid a misdeal. You only have to deal 20 cards out, but if you mess it up, you lose your deal. And remember, dealers have an advantage. Don’t mess up!

Step 6.) Here kitty.

If you dealt correctly, you’ll have four cards left over. This is the kitty. Turn the top card face up. Do not look at the bottom cards. If you do, it’s a misdeal. Remember what happens to misdeals?

Step 7.) Elect, I mean, select Trump

It’s idealistic, it’s wonderful, it’s a beautiful thing. Euchre is played as a set of rounds. During each round there are five tricks where players take turns laying one card each. For each round, a suit is selected to be trump. Players want to select a suit that gives them the best chance to take 3 or more tricks.

“You know, I was dealt a lot of bad hands.” ~ DJ Trump

Step 8.) Let the bidding begin.

Starting to the left of the dealer and going clockwise, players start bidding on the suit turned up in the kitty. A player will ask the dealer to pick up the card if they want that suit to be trump. The dealer will then pick up the card and discard any other card from their hand without showing the other players. This is the advantage to being the dealer; you always get at least one card that is trump and you get the opportunity to get rid of your worst card. Be quick about it!

If you do not want the suit, say “pass.” To really speed things up and avoid voice inflection, some classy players will knock on the table to pass.

The team calling the suit must take the majority (3 or more out of 5) tricks during play. Otherwise it’s a Euchre!

If the suit turned up is not desired by any player including the dealer, the dealer will turn it over. Then the bidding starts again and any of the other three suits may be chosen.

Step 9.) Screw you.

If no one chooses a suit on the second go-around, the dealer is screwed and must choose.

Editor's note: not everyone plays “screw the dealer.” Other play variations would give the dealer the option to pass and then they lose the deal. Screwing people is fun and should be encouraged. It keeps the game moving. Otherwise the last round of bidding was for nothing. Time is precious, people.

Step 10.) Alone.

If you think you can take all five tricks and your partner would just be dead weight, you can call up a suit and choose to “go alone.” Your partner will not play, but should help clean up the tricks you win. It’s the least they can do!

Step 11.) All Jacked up.

This is the only slightly complicated rule in Euchre, so pay attention. Once a suit has been chosen, this suit is trump for the remainder of the round. The trump suit beats all other suits regardless of card value. Bam!

In the trump suit only, the Jack of trump is the right bower and is the highest trump card. The Jack of the same color is now considered part of the trump suit, is the left bower, and is the second highest card. The remaining trump cards are valued in the order you would expect; the third highest is the Ace, then King, Queen, 10, and 9. The Jacks in all the other suits are valued as normal Jacks. For the suits that are not trump, the highest card is the Ace, then King, Queen, Jack (of suits not the corresponding color of trump),10, and 9.

Stay with me.

For example: If Hearts are trump, the trump cards in order of highest to lowest would be:

Jack of Hearts
Jack of Diamonds (treated as a Heart)
Ace of Hearts
King of Hearts
Queen of Hearts
10 of Hearts
9 of Hearts

Diamonds will be short a card since the Jack of Diamonds is considered a heart for this hand, and so Diamonds will only be Ace, King, Queen, 10, and 9. Spades and Clubs will have a full 6 cards and will be Ace, King, Queen, Jack, 10, and 9.

Step 12.) Let’s play already!

You have five cards and will play for five tricks. Each round you must lay a card and must follow suit. If you do not have the suit that was led, you may play any card from your hand. Remember that the Jack of the corresponding color of trump is part of the trump suit.

The player to the left of the dealer will start and lay any card they choose from their hand. Trump does not need to be broken, it may be led. The player with the highest card will win the trick and will start the next round. Teams must clear their winning tricks. Tricks should be neatly placed face down on the table. Don’t be a slob for decency’s sake and because you don’t want to remind players of cards that have already been played.

Step 13.) The score.

If you ordered up trump, you must take 3 or 4 tricks with your partner in order to win 1 point. If you and your partner take all 5 tricks, you earn 2 points. If you went alone and won all 5 tricks, you earn 4 points. If you went alone and won 3 or 4 tricks, you earn 1 point.

If you did not order up trump, but managed to win 3 tricks, you Euchred the opposing team and will earn 2 points. Way to go!

The score is kept using the 5s. Each team will have two of the fives and will display the number of points they have. For example, if your team has three points, a face down five will cover two of the suit shapes on the five and display three of the suit. If your team has 6 points, a face up five will cover four of the bottom suit shapes and display one of the suit shapes. You can use 6s and 4s but it takes more thought. I don’t think you can handle it.

Step 14.) Renege, rhymes with leg.

This word is often mispronounced by the midwest nasal dialect. To renege means to not follow suit. It’s cheating and will cost you if you’re caught. The opposing team will receive two points automatically. Shame on you and your family.

Step 15.) And again.

The process repeats with the next dealer clockwise. Make sure you grab the kitty or - you guessed it - it’ll be a miss deal.

Step 16. ) Play fair.

You have a partner in Euchre, but your cards and strategy should not be shown or verbalized. Violations of this rule are referred to as Table Talk. This includes everything from physically indicating how you want your partner to play to declaring the cards in your hand. Don’t do it.

Step 17. ) But not too fair.

You can steal the deal in Euchre. The dealer has an advantage and if they’re not paying attention you can take the deck and deal. If the true dealer doesn’t notice before the cards start to be dealt, they are out of luck.

Editor's note: Stealing is rude. I don’t care for it. I can beat you without giving myself an advantage.

Step 18.) End game

The game ends with a team earning at least 10 points. Euchre is quick, so don’t be shy about clearing the points and playing again!

There you have it! Like most things in life, the more you play the faster and easier the game will become. If you are a little competitive and want to increase your chances to win, you’ll want to read about 7 Euchre Strategies for Highly Effective Players. (blog post coming soon!)